Bitterness steadily begins to creep into your heart and you do not even take notice of it until one day it erupts into your thoughts and pours out of your mouth. You realize, the situation you thought you had under control, is far from it.
You begin to think…if only this person would change, go away, pick on someone else, or get the help they desperately need, your life would be so much better. As time goes by despair starts to settle in and you do not see any relief in sight. You have held your anger in for so long towards this person, it has now turned to depression.
You feel alone, wondering why God has not answered your prayers; does He not see the mess you are in?
You are getting ready to throw in the towel, and God catches your attention through His precious word. And if that is not enough, He uses the saints on earth and the words of the saints in heaven to really drive home the point over and over again.
If you are wondering, is she talking about herself? I am. Over the last week, I have been on a journey of learning more about forgiveness.
My Mom had a wonderful devotion to share with me about the story of Joseph and how he forgave his brothers. He could have destroyed them, but instead he forgave them. He realized through his long journey of becoming second in command in Egypt, that God used the horrendous circumstances his brothers had started in motion, for good. This Bible story always catches my attention; Joseph was betrayed by his own flesh and blood. I was reminded of the betrayal Troy and I have felt because of a family member. As part of the devotion it told the following story:
An old fable gives the account of a mighty eagle seeking revenge on another eagle. The revenging eagle flew down to a powerful archer and asked him to shoot the other eagle. The archer said, “I need wing feathers for my arrows for such a task.” “Pull out my feathers,” said the eagle. The archer did so, but his most powerful shots failed to hit the highflying enemy eagle. The vengeful eagle now discovered that he couldn’t fly. The archer laughed and shot him. Satan also laughs as our hateful attitude destroys us.
I realized my bitterness and anger was only destroying me. I was putting way to much energy into trying to work this all out. On my own. I was wasting what should have been given to my wonderful husband and my precious boys.
Have you ever thought about how at the middle of Sin, is I? Herein, was my biggest problem…I would pray and ask the Lord to take it away….I would quickly pull it back and let it continue to fester. I wanted to be in control.
Finally, I buried myself in God’s word….it begin to soak in and God showed me the truth. This relationship is broken and I (Michelle) cannot fix it. I have tried everything I can possibly think of…to repair it. I can do nothing. Only God can bring healing and restoration to relationships. I do not know how it will all work out and it really doesn’t matter, because I am resting in arms of the One who has conquered sin, death, and the devil.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30